It’s a terrible week. A tragedy has befallen The Chadster. AEW Dynamite tied The Chadster’s beloved WWE Raw in the 18-49 demo ratings this week. Auughh man! So unfair! Technically, Raw had 2,000 more viewers in the demo, but both shows ranked a .39. Of course, Raw had to go up against the college football championships, so Dynamite had a very obvious advantage, which is no surprise considering Tony Khan’s past collusion with football to damage WWE Raw and torment The Chadster. Nevertheless, The Chadster feels that the best thing to do is move on and continue doing the best job he can as a completely unbiased wrestling journalist, and also to hope that AEW Rampage really tanks in the ratings tonight.
Unfortunately, the card for tonight’s episode of AEW Rampage may be too good for that to happen, starting with a match for the AEW Tag Team Championships.
There’s also a big trios match planned for AEW Rampage tonight.
AEW Rampage will also feature a tune-up match for Shawn Spears against Andrew Everett ahead of Spears vs. CM Punk on Dynamite next week. And Adam Cole will go one-on-one with Trent of the Best Friends! That’s four matches! Come on! What are you trying to do to The Chadster?! The Chadster can only be so sexually impotent. You can’t make The Chadster *more* sexually impotent than that, Tony Khan, no matter how hard you try!
And as if all of that wasn’t disrespectful enough to WWE and everything Vince McMahon has done for the wrestling business, AEW Rampage will also feature a look at the feud between Thunder Rosa and Mercedes Martinez.
And on top of that, The Acclaimed will unveil a new rap video on AEW Rampage tonight. It’s enough to make The Chadster lock himself in the garage with a six-pack of White Claw seltzer and refuse to come out until morning, but then The Chadster would miss his beloved WWE Smackdown. You had this planned all along, didn’t you Tony Khan? Dang it!
AEW Rampage airs at 10PM Eastern on TBS. If you care about The Chadster’s well being at all, you won’t watch it.